Dowry system and its practice among the Sri Lankan Muslim community: with special reference to the Ampara district

Abstract

Dowry is considered as a wedding gift (cash or valuables) from the bride's family to the groom's family. In Islam, it is the man who pays Mahr (dower) to the woman. The following verses in the Qur’an prove that it is the man who is compelled to pay the Mahr (dower) to the woman; the woman may choose not to take it. “And give women (on marriage) their dower (Mahr) as a free gift; but if they, of their own good pleasure, remit any part of it to you, take it and enjoy it with right good cheer” (Al-Qur'an: Al-Nisa': 4) A woman holds a very high status in the Islamic faith. She is honored and respected at all times, but many startling transgressions have crept into Islamic practice. These transgressions have been caused by cultural influence and have no basis in Islamic scripture. However, a case study conducted in the, Ampara District confirms that if the bride’s family refused to give this “gift”, the marriage would not take place. In general, the amount of the dowry is set higher than the bride’s family can afford to give and sadly, this results in the bride becoming a burden on her family. The bride’s family then has to struggle to pay the “gift”. Thus, dowry has become an unpleasant custom in the Sri Lankan Muslim community, particularly in the in Ampara district. The objectives of the research were to: Identify how the dowry system impacts on the Muslim community in the eastern province, particularly on the women and their families; examine the causes for this social problem; and offer recommendations for solving this problem This research adopted a descriptive, comparative approach to examine the socio-cultural roots of this phenomenon. Data was collected using a questionnaire. Interviews were conducted with married and unmarried women and Muslim parents. Participatory observation was also used. Among the study area Muslim society, the dowry system had become a burning issue. Their main reasons for this problem were poverty, custom, social status, negative attitudes towards women, sole dependence on husband’s income, and deterioration of religious and social values. It was found that in most cases, the bridegroom’s party seeks money in order to begin a business or to use the money for his own advancement. In certain cases, where the bride is over-aged or not very attractive, there is a tendency to ask for more money. Some girls are compelled to remain as spinsters forever.